Sunday, September 23, 2012

The Hangover

She woke up with him inside her. Her mouth had that sweet, citric taste of vomit and liquor. She didn't understand it. Step back, look at it. You don't want to, but you need to see it. She is young, her pants are down around her ankles. You can hear the shouts and music outside the bedroom, but inside it is just her. She is small on the bed and her face is buried in a pillow. She tries to move it and feels the fingers pull at her hair. She screams. He starts fucking her harder. His pants are down and his shirt is off. His tattoos suck. He smiles because he knows the bitch fucking wanted it and now he's giving it to her. Just how she wanted. Staring all night. He'd woken her up. He believed it. He would swear to it. He came and let go of her hair and the room blurred into focus. They were in a guest room, the decorations were spare and generic. She was crying and he blinked at her, confused. Do you see it?

They will never talk about it. Either of them. They will live within miles of each other for the rest of their lives. Their kids will go to the same school. Their spouses will know none of this. But you know. Some hangovers don't ever go away.

19 comments:

  1. We never know a person's full story, what makes them whole, what makes them broken. Powerful yet again, Dan.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks, Jo. Sometimes simple stories are the hardest to write.

      Delete
  2. When the room blurred into focus, dude, I about lost it on this one.

    Spare and generic indeed.

    Why is fucking so fucking impersonal even when one is inside the other like Russian dolls. My god.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Replies
    1. Thanks for stopping by, lady. And using an ellipse. As you know I have a fondness for them. ;)

      Delete
  4. Powerful stuff. You can't raise the bar much higher than this. Awesome.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, Audrey. It was powerful enough to get a whole bunch of people pissed off.

      Delete
    2. That's a shame. I took it for what it is, a brilliant, powerful piece of writing. You're not ENDORSING this kind of thing, merely inventing a realistic scenario. Just as murder, assault, fighting and on and on happen in real life and are written about as fiction. Contravertial can be good at times it highlights the things that can and do happen in real life. Word.

      Delete
    3. Damn straight. I don't know...it's a weird dichotomy. The world is an ugly place. I think some people resent that fictionalizing it makes it feel more real and harder to ignore. The news is very sterile. Putting a reader in the situation is important, but some people can't handle that.

      Delete
    4. Everyone's different I guess. People have their own reasons and each should be respected. In an ideal world that is. But I think that's the point, we don't live in an ideal world.

      Delete
  5. Looks like this post might have stirred some debate in "other" circles, outside this blessed blog. Funny how all the responders here so far are women, and not one of them has accused this poor sonofabitch of being a rapist. Hmmm...

    Giving you a set of ellipses today Mader. You deserve one at least.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks, Erin. The fallout makes me really sad. I appreciate the support.

      Delete
  6. I like it. It's gritty, raw, intense, and dirty - as life often can be. I think it's a good sign when your writing stirs up some shit. Good for you. And I mean that.

    Also, I'm a jackass for not previewing my comment before catching the typo.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You're no jackass. ;) Thanks G. I agree, the shit pot needs to be stirred. And real stories about real tragedy need to be told. I remember (and always will) reading in Harpers(?) about a slaughter in a small village and little baby chicks pecking at a child's corpse. I was horrified. That image will never leave. But it is not fair to ignore the ugliness and focus on the beauty. It just isn't.

      Delete
    2. I agree. Not only is it unfair, it's a missed opportunity to learn and grow deeper in your humanity when you look away from the ugliness that life and art (which reflect each other) present to you. I think people often forget that we're still evolving as a species. Without that growth, we silly humans can't evolve. So, keep throwing flinging that fecies from your cage. The human race depends on you!
      (Uh, no pressure or anything.)

      Delete
    3. ;) I have always thought that going through life with blinders on is no way to live.

      Delete

Please leave comments. Good, bad or ugly. Especially ugly.