2 Minutes. Go! Yee-haw edition!

Write whatever you want in the 'comments' section on this blog post. Play as many times as you like. #breaktheblog! You have two minutes (give or take a few seconds ... no pressure!). Have fun. The more people who play, the more fun it is. So, tell a friend. Then send 'em here to read your 'two' and encourage them to play.

The last light was slipping through the curtain of fog, but I didn’t want to leave. I knew the way back in the dark. I knew the whole stream like I knew the back of my hand. I could have fished it with a blindfold on. I could certainly get a few more hours in.

I didn’t want to go home. By the water, nothing existed except the burbling stream and the sighing of trees and explosions of birdsong. Home was where the trouble waited. Home was an empty place I could never seem to fill.

I had tried various times. I had loved women, but the ones I found seemed to leave awful quick. I’d tried getting a dog, but it ran away on the second day. Cats wouldn’t even stick around for food.

The stream was the only place where I could relax. So, I stayed until it was properly dark. I didn’t catch any more fish, but I wasn’t trying that hard.

#2minutesgo Tweet it! Share it! Shout it from the top of the shack you live in! I will be out most of the day, but I'll be back...#2minutesgo Tweet it! Share it! Shout it from the top of the shack you live in! I will be out most of the day, but I'll be back...

2 Minutes. Go!

Write whatever you want in the 'comments' section on this blog post. Play as many times as you like. #breaktheblog! You have two minutes (give or take a few seconds ... no pressure!). Have fun. The more people who play, the more fun it is. So, tell a friend. Then send 'em here to read your 'two' and encourage them to play.

The leaves shook on the old oak tree, but there was no wind. No gust to send the boughs bouncing. It wasn’t right. It wasn’t normal. But it had always been that way. Old man Johnson stood in his back yard staring at the tree, pulling at his tight, curly, red hair. This was a daily activity. Standing and yelling at the tree.

“Stop bouncing, ya fool tree. Ain’t even windy!”

But that did not stop the tree. Nothing could stop the tree. No amount of old man frustration. No secret spell or incantation. Why the tree moved is unimportant. There are some things in life that can’t be explained. Like how an old man can spend half his day yelling at a tree.

On the day he chopped the tree down, the sky turned black. Birds hid in the trees. Animals trembled. There was utter silence in the neighborhood. Until the old man started to weep.

#2minutesgo Tweet it! Share it! Shout it from the top of the shack you live in! I will be out most of the day, but I'll be back...#2minutesgo Tweet it! Share it! Shout it from the top of the shack you live in! I will be out most of the day, but I'll be back...

2 Minutes. Go!

Write whatever you want in the 'comments' section on this blog post. Play as many times as you like. #breaktheblog! You have two minutes (give or take a few seconds ... no pressure!). Have fun. The more people who play, the more fun it is. So, tell a friend. Then send 'em here to read your 'two' and encourage them to play.

This is how your mind gets broken. It starts like most things. A crack. A worn spot. A sharp knock to the head. A sharp knock to the heart. There are so many ways to get broken, it’s amazing any of us work. Amazing we aren’t all in the shop begging the mechanic to buff out the scratches.

Shit deteriorates. Your brain is looking for ways to betray you. You hear warnings from the central nervous system. Fight or flight shit, but you freeze – trying to unravel the knots in your string theories. For a smallish ball of goop, the brain can be very, very loud. Mine screams at me sometimes. Sometimes, it is chill. Often, it is screaming.

Some people deliberately damage their brains. Ask me how I know. Most people do it by accident. The world is full of brain traps. You are constantly under assault. Breathing carcinogenic fumes and dodging Kardashian bullshit. Some people shut down the whole works. We feel bad for them, but maybe they found the fix they needed.

Brains ain’t simple, see? Not one damn bit. We don’t even really know how they work. We’re just glad when they do. Glad when we haven’t had so many concussions that life becomes the enemy. Glad that we didn’t spend our high school years huffing oven cleaner.

Shit smells gross and isn’t good for your demeanor.

I want to remove my brain and turn it into a punching bag. Do my fast work on the frontal lobe. Beat that shit senseless.

Is there anyone not broken? That’s a fair question, but it kind of depends on your definition of 'broken'.

#2minutesgo Tweet it! Share it! Shout it from the top of the shack you live in! I will be out most of the day, but I'll be back...#2minutesgo Tweet it! Share it! Shout it from the top of the shack you live in! I will be out most of the day, but I'll be back...

2 Minutes. Go!

Write whatever you want in the 'comments' section on this blog post. Play as many times as you like. #breaktheblog! You have two minutes (give or take a few seconds ... no pressure!). Have fun. The more people who play, the more fun it is. So, tell a friend. Then send 'em here to read your 'two' and encourage them to play

You gotta act like it’s the most important thing in the world or they’ll get wise. You need to borrow a paper smile because you cannot do the origami yourself – they are laughing at you. Mocking you. You are lost in it. It’s not hard to pretend for a little while, but then the pretending becomes indistinguishable from not pretending. Play it off. Count on peoples’ self-interest and self-absorption. Because most of them are like you. Running in the hamster wheel of their own mind. They bluff.

Don’t call their bluff, but be aware of it.

Secrets are death. You need to be careful. You start keeping too many secrets and everything will go to hell. Right straight to hell.

And I don’t mean hell as a place because I don’t believe there is one. I mean they will eat you. Corrode you from the inside. They will corrupt you, and you will be neck deep before you know it - with those secrets weighing you down.

Pulling you under.

We live in a world of caricatures. Everybody has their role to play. The friendlier ones make you happy. The others make sure you pay. 

I want to lay a golden egg and throw it through the window of your house. Your apartment. Box. Tree. Whatever. I want to make a noise loud enough that everyone will have to stop and take notice. I need more soapboxes. I feel so dirty. I’ve got to purge it. Blow it out of my brain and onto the page, oozing. I need to stand in front of a crowd, pure rage. I need the world to not go bonkers every time I turn a page.

You turn a blind eye? I don’t have much sympathy for you. There are times in life where you have to remember that what’s right is right even if it is inconvenient. Surely.

Please…

#2minutesgo Tweet it! Share it! Shout it from the top of the shack you live in! I will be out most of the day, but I'll be back...#2minutesgo Tweet it! Share it! Shout it from the top of the shack you live in! I will be out most of the day, but I'll be back...

2 Minutes. Go!

Write whatever you want in the 'comments' section on this blog post. Play as many times as you like. #breaktheblog! You have two minutes (give or take a few seconds ... no pressure!). Have fun. The more people who play, the more fun it is. So, tell a friend. Then send 'em here to read your 'two' and encourage them to play.

I don’t know this area too well, so I’m not stopping. I’m not stopping period. Maybe for gas and Slim Jims. I fucking hate Slim Jims. Those things are fucking disgusting and, if you like them, you should be publicly shamed. Puritan style. Wear a Scarlett SJ on your shirt, you sick bastard. If you’re going to eat pig asshole, at least have the balls to eat it fresh like God intended. But, point being, I’m not stopping. No matter how many times you tell me. No matter how many times I tell myself. I’m stubborn.

I put my feet on two shoes at a time like everyone else. Who’s got time for laces? Not me. You got time for laces? You ain’t living your life right. Take a chance. Rob a liquor store. Shoot some heroin. TRY. Do something. Write a screenplay. That’ll drive ya fucking crazy. Just don’t stop. Stopping is for quitters. 

Shoot the stream of water into the painted clown face. And you wonder why we all hate clowns. Same as mimes. They just try to entertain us and we want to shank them with ice picks. What the hell is that? I mean, don’t get me wrong. I’d shank a clown or a mime in a heartbeat. Do as I say…

I’m saying you can’t just throw your hands up. Yeah, you’re in debt. Yeah, the government has become bad satire. Yeah, we may be spiraling towards some kind of Apocalypse. But you could just be really high, too. This could all be a greenout dream. You might just need to go to Taco Bell. Shit’s not always that serious, dig?

Except for right now. Right now, you should take things seriously. And you should not quit. And you should try not to stick your head in the sand even though I’m guilty of the same. As I say, not do, remember? We got enough stuff going on right now without you stopping. We need more people starting. Reading. Bands. Revolutions. Turn us right round, baby, right round. 

I’ve got damaged drywall for brains, and I’m not giving up. It takes me five minutes every morning to remember how life works and calm the pounding in my chest. No one gets out of this without bruises. Nobody wins. Nobody loses. It may all be for naught, but it might not. And you’re never going to know unless you keep slamming your face into that wall. Even if it hurts. The cracks will appear, and I’ve spent my life slamming my face into bullshit I don’t agree with. 

#2minutesgo Tweet it! Share it! Shout it from the top of the shack you live in! I will be out most of the day, but I'll be back...#2minutesgo Tweet it! Share it! Shout it from the top of the shack you live in! I will be out most of the day, but I'll be back...