There's no point in bucking the simulation. Resistance leads to glitches, some of which can be very painful.
There is nothing to be gained by trying to maintain the old data; rewrite will commence with or without your cooperation. Even breathing and relaxed posture will make the process go more quickly, but your new update WILL be installed.
The dogma and arc of the last update will not serve you in the next quarter.
Hiding outside the update area will make you a target for the newly initiated.
For those familiar with the process, please set a good example for your compatriots. Rations will be doubled for those practicing XTRAComply.
There may be sounds and smells that you fail to recognize during the assessment portion. This is not cause for concern; we are adjusting flat levels, and this is a harmless side-effect.
Once you have received your update, you will proceed directly to the NEWSROOM, where your [i]TEMPLATE files will be filled with common axioms and awarenesses.
Desirable biases and jealousies will be installed automatically once you are branded.
Relocation is the final step in the progress, but fear not. You will be preloaded with the necessary long and short term data-packs.
It is time. Please place the headset on your head loosely. It will AUTOSET to your head shape. Take a deep breath.
Your rebirth awaits.
We’re all just shoving things inside us. Food and drugs and ideas and biases. We shove in things that feel good and things that feel bad. We stuff ourselves with things that distract us from the passage of time. A little religion for you, a little heroin for your cousin, a little NFL obsession for your Father in Law, and a couple glasses of wine and fifty pages of literature per diem for those of you who think highly of wasted time.
You need to put something at the end of that carrot. Hell, it can be anything. Retirement, home-ownership, keeping your family from starving. It can be anything, really, just something to lock your head and eyes forward. Like blinders on a horse. What’s good for the goose…
We’ll light a fire under you. That’s for sure. Literal or figurative, we don’t like you horizon-gazers. You dreamers and malcontents. We got matches, and we’ll make this make sense.
There are plenty of industries to sell your time to at less-than-market-value. Take your pick. No, you can’t pick none of them. What kind of place do you think this is?
We are making PROGRESS.
Certain parts may be removed from you at the end to repair other models. This is all explained in the booklet which is available to your loved ones upon your retirement.
Now, relax and think of the wonderful contribution that you and your flesh are making.
Prime Members may now move to the front of the line.