Thursday, January 16, 2014

Don't look at me like that.

Don't look at me like that. Look at me like I just gave you a Chanel purse full of truffles and orgasms. OK, now I'm getting the sexy eyes, but I need to see that truffle melting, baby. Yes, of course I mean the chocolate kind. You think I want you to root around like pig? Wait a minute, let me get the latex pig costume, this is gonna be so fucking hot. Yes, I hosed it off. Jesus!

What do you mean? Right, Deliverance. OK, fuck the pig costume ... I mean forget about the pig costume. I'm not even feeling that turned on anymore.

Look at me like I just told you that your best friend died and then I got all fucking stigmatafied and glowing and said I could bring her back to life. Needs to be more attentive, rapt, it's a fucking miracle for Christ's sake. 

Now you're just looking at me like I'm nuts. You're nuts! I'm not the one who thought we should visit my parents for two weeks. Do you know how long two weeks is in 'visiting my parents' time? IT'S LIKE A THOUSAND LIFETIMES AS AN IMMORTAL!

So what, that doesn't make sense? Why are you so pissed off? I don't even want to talk anymore. Is there anything on TV?


Please leave comments. Good, bad or ugly. Especially ugly.