Friday, June 21, 2013

3 Minutes. Go!

Man, if only I could be one of those people who does everything perfectly. Bleach white teeth to frosted Christmas wreath. Unless you're a Jew. That would be unseemly. I'm part Jewish. I don't know what part though.

So, I careen through the world fucking up everything in my wake? Fair enough. That doesn't mean it is intentional. That doesn't make me an asshole.

Green and red birds alight on the window ledge and I'm like 'what the fuck?' We don't have a window ledge. We don't have a microwave. Ain't got no TV. Got me a Nokia that don't take pictures. Every child that passes has a nicer phone than me. But I have wisdom. Right? I know the score? If that's really the whole score I'll drop a staccato assault and steal an iPhone.


  1. She measured distance in the number of puddles she stomped on the way to places. Sixteen puddles to school. Twenty puddles to Mary Jo’s house. But when it was sunny, she needed other ways to count, and that day was by dead worms, because the puddles were gone and the worms that had crawled out now dried in the sun. Twenty-five icky worms by the time she got to Mrs. Donaldson’s house. Her mother told her to go there after school, that she and her father had something important to do and didn’t want her to be alone. She pictured some other important things she remembered her parents doing, like going to a wedding and wearing fancy clothes, and her father taught her how to tie a knot in a necktie just perfectly perfect, and her mother let her hang out in the bathroom and watch her put on makeup. But it was the middle of the week, and as far as she knew, nobody had weddings in the middle of the week. And why was Mrs. Donaldson being so nice to her? She normally wasn’t allowed two cookies after school. But suddenly there were cookies and games and even television. Mary Jo said that one day Mrs. Donaldson was really nice to her, too, but then the next week her father moved out. “Are my parents getting divorced?” she asked Mrs. Donaldson. But all she said was, “Would you like another cookie?”

  2. The black birds bordering the gutters of the WalMart looked eerie, but no errier than the hundreds sitting on every electrical line connected around the parking lot. Something was up.
    Because of the unending screeching, customers coming out of the store looked to the skies and rushed to their cars.
    Those just arriving followed their gaze and jumped back in their cars, well the smart ones did. The stupid ones, the ones defying the very nature of the unknown, stood, pulled out their cells and collected the scene for later viewing. When the unnerving crack of thunder shattered the silence, all hell brome loose.

  3. First the worm, who hadn't really been quite dead wriggled a little and tore itself free from the dirt that had partially encased him like a partial cocoon and then the little, worm who wasn't little by worm standards really, although not really huge either, drew up it's striated segments towards the end of himself that he thought might have housed his head and push/pulled himself along and down a little hole that he made into the garden and was never seen by human eyes again. Although his legend never died and people still meet him occasionally in their most shocking nightmares

  4. How beautiful shines the sun
    How radiant the silvery sheen of the moon
    The fiery red glow of a Martian sunset
    The purple tranquillity of an evening on Pluto
    The cold silvery twilight of Mercury
    The verdant, watery world of Venus
    The earthly goodness of Earth
    The collossal horizon of Jupiter
    The ringed spectacle of Saturn
    The strangeness of Uranus
    The kingly name of Neptune
    The puzzle of the asteroid belt
    The vertigo of a comet's tail
    The grace of a meteor
    The destruction of a meteorite
    The immensity of the galaxy
    The onfinite quality of the cosmos
    The staggering eternal thought of the universe


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