I don't need you to tell me shit. I already know what you're going to say and then what you'll follow with, I can see it all in silver, shimmering silkworm strings. Your opinion means little to me and so much means little to you except you. You mean everything.
With that fucking look again. I'm not sure whether I'm supposed to laugh, cry, or call a doctor. Maybe all three. I'll watch your eyeballs roll down me until they're plop on the floor. Then, you can look up to me.
I am eschewing all human contact. Scuttle back to your holes. I want none of it. Your weak-kneed excuses and mental travails. It all makes me tired. The kind of tired that you want to fall into because the blackness is so deep.
Shit and grasshoppers, son. That's no way to tie a fishing line. Who the hell taught you to do that?
I've been hanging with the wrong crowd, and I got the stink on me. That's what you say. That's what you look like. Save the broken artifice for someone who needs a cause. I already got one.
Play your cards, son. Play your cards. I don't care if it's UNO, you play 'em and you hope just like the rest of us. Heart attacks don't give a fuck about your bank account. Your kids aren't gonna thank you. You'll feel good about the whole thing, though. Stigmata.
So, ramble on Billy boy, and fuck the folks behind you. We're going on a rabble rouse and you're not invited. You're old news and no one wants to hear your shit. It pours from your mouth like sickness. You are sick. That is why you are tolerated. You are the old dog that no one has the heart to shoot.
Stare at the sun and let it burn you. Why should you be any different? What makes you so goddamn special? Pick up a shovel, like the rest of us, and start digging. You're gonna need somewhere to sleep.
Dan, it'll be no surprise to you that I could tape this on every surface around my apartment, read it every damn day and get something different from it each of those days. I feel the same way about all your flash. ;)ReplyDelete
I did think of something else though too..."You are sick. That is why you are tolerated. You are the old dog that no one has the heart to shoot." Do you think one of the reasons why everyone puts up with him is because we have hope, until the flat line, of hearing or seeing some vestige of regret and act of contrition?
Heartachingly powerful, as always, my friend.
Thanks Jo! Now I totally want to wallpaper my apt with stories.ReplyDelete
Interesting Q. I think it depends on the person and the day. There are days when I am apt to scatter forgiveness chips behind me as I walk. There are times when I am ashamed that I am too weak to kill the dog. I have my dog days, too.
I think we are all cowards, but I don't think that is a bad thing. There's a lot of fucked up shit to be afraid of.
Ultimately not "killing the dog" may be a sign of strength rather than cowardice. I've kicked myself black and bue for not being stronger, meaner, more straightforward, more decisive...geez it's a long list now that I think about it.ReplyDelete
I think we're all cowards but I also think the majority of people have the capacity to be heroes given the right situation too.
Sorry to ramble.I'm off to sleep now.
Yeah, I agree. Heroism is a trait you never know you have until you need it.Delete