Fevered, I wrap myself in lies and absolutions. I am not what I am, but a sum of the sad cliches that have led me onward. Truth falls around me, gathering at my feet like a technicolor dream coat. You lie? Of course you lie. I lie? Sometimes, indeed, I do. I am made of thatch and rosemary. I am hidden from your view and lost in a forest of deceit. I want nothing. I need nothing. Shadows morph into phantasms too dire to contemplate. I tear at my skin. I am on a quest for destruction.
Green pastures. I remember them well. They are memories, crushed now with skyscrapers, ash, and soot. All has been sullied. Nothing pure remains. I feel the needle deep in my vein and hold on for one more day. One more chance to betray myself. I will take it gladly.
You think I don't remember. But I do. In bits. In drabs and scraps. I remember summer fields of alfalfa and innocence. They mock me now. They disgust me. I will lie in my room. I will let the weight of lost abandon press upon my chest. I will try to breathe and fail and my heart will pound with the sound of defeat.
Nah, this I didn't like so much.
You can't win em all, T. :) Thanks for the read.ReplyDelete
It is not to win or to lose. I didn't care for it because of the darkness and defeat that rings through it. It is very well written. I did like the imagery of " I am made of thatch and rosemary".
It reminds me too much of the 22nd Psalm, especially 22:12 - 22:18.
I should say I didn't like it in the same way I don't like S&G's "I am a rock". Good song, but it depresses me. Perhaps it strikes too close to home, as does this.
Thanks for your comments, T. Interesting comparison to the Psalm. I think you are right and it is a very interesting parallel. You are obviously a very thoughtful reader...I appreciate you checking out my work. There are lots of other stories obviously, and more to come. Take care.ReplyDelete
BTW, I have a very interesting reaction to that song...always have. And it is always different. I'm a big S&G fan.
Compact and impacting, just what a good flash should be!ReplyDelete
Just subscribed to your blog via Google Reader. Thanks for the inspiration.ReplyDelete
Brilliant and poetic first line. Thank you for including a link to my site on your page - shall return the favour almost immediately. Watch my space.ReplyDelete