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For whatever reason, I grew up thinking that I was a bad person. I thought everyone around me was in on something I wasn't. I felt this way well into my thirties. Come to find out, I am basically a saint compared to the sick, twisted fucks who run this country.

I thought I was shady, but I have been honest about my flaws, my shortcomings. I have never tried to hide any of it, and I have NEVER hurt someone else just because I could or because they had something I wanted. 

I do not steal, and I don't think anyone should. I will also tell you the truth if you ask me a question. I'll tell you the truth even if you don't ask.

I didn't know how many people lie so easily. 

I grew up feeling guilty, but not knowing what I was guilty of. Now, I see that there are people everywhere who are predators, users, cheats and abusers. They don't feel guilt, and I just can't wrap my mind around that. It doesn't make any sense to me. 

I'm tired of this. Frankly, I just want off the ride. Tell the carnies. They don't even have to stop the cars, I'll jump out while they're moving. 

Anything to get away from these humans and their sick, sad "humanity."

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I'll try to explain it to my grandchildren...how we broke the unbreakable. How we took an ideal that the world respected and shit on it. How some people hated a few folks more than they loved everyone. I'll show them pictures of kids in ICE custody, and I'll ask them to wrap their minds around it if they can...how selfish misery can poison the communal well.

They'll have questions, and I'll tell them about their great-grandfathers signing up to fight the Nazis in WWII. I'll show them that history moves in cycles...I'll allow them to see what I have come to learn: People are selfish and small. Most people are just trying their best, but there are some who want to bend the universe to their will. Indulge their dark desires.

They will pass on. But the same philosophies will come to roost, again and again. 

I'll cry with my grandkids. I'll hold them as close as I can, and I will try to make sure they see reality...this is not about brown people, this is not about queer people. This isn't even about immigration. It is about the broken taking power, which they are very good at. 

Scruples can be a handicap. I've got tons of them. They make this thing called living pretty tricky, but I wouldn't change it for the world. 

I'll lend a hand to anyone, but I won't stick it up in the air like a fucking fascist for you or anyone else.

Fuck that.