I am smart enough to appreciate that I could have fucked everything up so easily. My disorder and your disorder nest like Russian dolls. You tolerated too much, but, lord, I needed that tolerance. It wasn't fair, but it was the way it had to be.
I don't know much about the world. I don't understand the stock market. I don't really know how a mortgage works because I've never even thought about one. I do think about what it will be like when we are old. Plenty of time to sit and relax. To take walks and talk about life. I'm looking forward to it, but I'm not in any rush.
If I had all of this to do over again? Honestly, I would probably fuck it up. I'm amazed I didn't fuck it up this time.
Amazed and grateful.
Love it. And this line: My disorder and your disorder nest like Russian dolls.
ReplyDeleteJD, the honesty doesn't just leak out of this one. It bursts over the reader. ❤️
ReplyDeleteLaurie, Since the Word Muse does not perform on command there is no hard & fast rule on written "right now" vs. pulling something from your stockpile. Just give us a morsel to keep us coming back.
ReplyDeletePretty sure I know when this was written. I too was brimming with hope that night only to be disappointed by both opponents, neither of whom performed to my expectations.
Sound bath
ReplyDeleteA tone-out, zone-out,
pure rush of layer upon layer spent,
this slide of water gushing out.
Bubbles flatten into spiral calm,
transport you high into starry realms
entering into dark. A step-out,
a tearing out of the humdrum
thoughts & echoes of your mind
until there is no movement,
only quiet, afloat on the ripples
where you dream sometime to be.
Vickie J