Chippers are better than junkies, but they're weak; they can't commit. They are slackers, and it's best you stay away from them. You need someone who can go all in. You need the kind of man who drinks before you go to the bar. The kind of man who squeezes your hand a little too hard when he's mad in public. A lot too hard. You need a man who is willing to lie to you.
You need a woman who has lots of secrets. It's charming. Women are complex, see? Find you a woman who is having three emotional affairs, but won't have sex with you. Cougars are the best; try to find you a woman who treats sex like a game.
You need kids who are locked into their phones, seeking validation from creepy weirdos pretending to be rock stars on the internet. If you play your cards right, you have a promising future shilling for massive corporations by forcing your body through filters and altering your mindset to one of pleasant cardboard.
America can be everything we want it to be. It can be rich for the white folks, horror for the people of color. It can be opportunity for the few and oppression for the masses. It can be rich politicians smiling through sex-trafficking parties.
All you have to do is lower your expectations, cash in your morals, and keep looking out for number one.
Vote? Shit, that's optional.